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[28 Mar 2005|12:13am] |
not quite the blindside style i was goin for..but that's ok.
NEW LJ: break_the_scar
add me ok? please, or everyone just comment on this one, if you're too lazy.
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[27 Mar 2005|10:31pm] |
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i've decided i'm gonna make a new lj..cuz well blindsider is a sucky name. i mean come on, i was goin for 12stoner...which is wayyy cooler, but it was taken. soo i dunno the new name, it's gonna be basically the same, except a cooler name.
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[27 Mar 2005|02:55pm] |
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mood |
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 feelin awesome |
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music |
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put your lights on - everlast w/ santana |
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i'd just like to say
ahora tengo niños que dicen...
YALEO!!!
good good song. i dunno what "yaleo" is...who the monkeys knows anymore? things have turned out for the better, i'm feelin pretty darn good. easter sunrise service was awesome. saw brie, camilo, and skye get baptized. BRRRIEE. i determind brie has 3 b's: Baptismal Brie, Baking Brie, and Beating Brother Brie. anyways, brie's funny...i think her mom was giving me weird looks when i called her over...but yah...oh well.
i really need to buy some santana cds...but breakfast today cleaned me out. mannn first watch is expensive...i definitely need to work more. i'll get crankin this week. anyways, you got the kinda lovin that could be so smooth yah.
anyone with the new santana cd that doesn't want it, or wants to lend me it...please comment.
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| why does it have to be like this? |
[26 Mar 2005|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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About a Burning Fire |
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what am i supposed to freakin do? i need time to change, that's the bottom line. i wish i could right away, but everyone knows how i am...it's gonna take time. i just hope things will work out, however they're supposed to. "i don't know the future. i can't tell you how this is going to end, i'm here to tell you how this is going to begin."
good quote, exactly sums up what i'm feeling.
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[25 Mar 2005|09:16pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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blindside - all of us |
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As soon as you stepped through my door,
I saw You for the first time all over again.
And time well spent seems
Lonelier than ever, like light years ago.
As I smell you for the first time all over again
I begin to remember to be alive
So if you don't mind
I think I'll wear my heart on my sleeve,
'Cause I'm tired of not being able to bleed.
All of us are searching for an open arm.
And it's a shame how I curl up in the dark
When it's the same old word giving me the spark.
All of us are searching for an open arm.
And it's a shame how I curl up in the dark.
I've felt a loss for some time
I slipped, stumbled, but fell face first
straight into your hand.
I hit my head on your palm
And waking up to the smell
Of tears drying up in the sand
All of us are searching for an open arm.
And it's a shame how I curl up in the dark
When it's the same old word giving me the spark.
All of us are searching for an open arm.
Well, it's a shame how I curl up in the dark.
I washed my wounds with tears of hope.
I washed my wounds with tears of hope.
I just ...
All of us are searching for an open arm
Well, it's a shame how I pull myself apart.
When it's the same words making me run for cover to your heart.
(All of us are searching for an open arm)
When it's the same words making me run for cover to your heart.
(All of us are searching for an open arm)
(All of us are searching for an open arm)
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| it all comes to an end |
[25 Mar 2005|04:57pm] |
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mood |
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 no hay palabras |
] |
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music |
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metallica |
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i can't believe myself, it's like...i screw things up every damn time.
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
it had to happen i guess, the end would've come sooner or later.
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
i wish i could change myself, from whatever the hell i've become. that doesn't seem too likely.
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he’s gone
the time has past, it's too late for regrets. i can't have any regrets, it's over.
No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late
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[25 Mar 2005|03:39pm] |
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i am an idiot
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| it seems like this is it |
[25 Mar 2005|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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 self-searching |
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music |
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so far away - staind |
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hmmm i guess this is my time to reflect. i had an interesting dream last night, i might be readin into things too much...but i think it confirms somethin that anna said to me earlier this week. i guess it's not a bad thing, to care that much. but nevertheless, for the most part, i have to suppress it for the good of everyone.
Kari, i love you soo much. When i needed you most, you came into my life.
that's another thing that scares me, but this time i'm prepared to deal with it. it's the 25th, soon it will be two months worth of bliss. i've already proven to myself that i can do it...that this time it's different, but how come i still doubt?
Kari, i just want you to know, that i'm trying my very best. Even though i screw up a lot, i really am trying.
i think that's what makes this different, that i'm actually trying. i think it helps that i realize that it's not all gonna be handed to me, that i have to work at it.
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[23 Mar 2005|11:09pm] |
i sooo won a radio contest today.
Prizes include: 4 tickets to Movie Co movie theater (in tampa), and $40 free to some bar (in tampa), i had to lie about my age to get them...i even have to "redeem" the stuff in tampa...anyone wanna go to tampa to hit up bars, and movies?
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| woww |
[22 Mar 2005|03:09pm] |
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[21 Mar 2005|06:47pm] |
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new icon...that kari girl is hawt!
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| end of first day |
[17 Mar 2005|06:06pm] |
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mood |
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 glad to be done |
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music |
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fade to black - metallica |
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well since i'm new i have to learn all about the "Network Connection" database. so i took a course that took about 1 30-2 hours. it was pretty easy stuff, kinda boring, but whatver. i listened to metallica while readin that stuff...awesome. i'm gonna be taking care of the logistics of the business (insurance). filing, adding new contacts, typing in notes...yahh so far that's it. fun stuff...yahhh not really, but kinda. at least it's easy and way less demanding than Publix...PLUS! i get paid wayyyy more, awesomeness.
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| 1st day |
[17 Mar 2005|03:58pm] |
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first day at my new job...basically this is it so far. on the computer, learning some database thingy. yah that's about it.
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| nothing else matters |
[15 Mar 2005|07:06pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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nothing else matters - metallica |
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so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never opened myself this way
life is ours we live it our way
all these words i don't just say
and nothing else matters
trust i seek and i find in you
everyday for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but i know
so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but i know
i never opened myself this way
life is ours we live it our way
all these words i don't just say
and nothing else matters
trust i seek and i find in you
everyday for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and i know...YEAH
so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters
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| gardens of the busch |
[14 Mar 2005|07:29pm] |
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mood |
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awesome |
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music |
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a world away - spoken |
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well today was awesome. busch gardens rocks.
we finally filmed the ninja vs. pirate movie...kinda. we find some of our ninja brothas down in da hood of ybor. and we made a friend with the lady at the toll plaza. sooo yah we just generally had a lot of fun...with wet t-shirt whips and old ladies screaming. except when elle, dave and fatma ditched nat and me. but that's ok...cuz NAT WANTED TO WAIT FOR THEM TO GO ON ANY FREAKIN RIDES!!! (meanwhile...the three of them went on like two rides...whooo). we rode montu sooo many times. yup gwazi hurt my head, so i held onto fatma...but he punched me. but no one can forget our mad dash through torrential rains. it was sooo great. we finally found refuge in the crown colony house...and i was in the bathroom ringing out my clothes while all these old guys are walkin in, i just took off my shirt and rung it out in the sink...along with my socks. nat sounds like a baby...through the walls of the bathroom.
and i met a fellow fan of spoken..and nat and elle were droolin over him.
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[14 Mar 2005|12:17am] |
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mood |
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 missing her |
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music |
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silence |
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wow, this weekend has been the craziest in a while..and not a good crazy. i've done some things wrong, but i've tried my hardest. there's really no words to describe how horrible i felt tonight, but i got through it.
to kari: you mean the world to me and more...i can't imagine my life without you. i love you more now than ever before. i can't stand the thought of losing you...i just love you so much.
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| The Days of the Publix |
[12 Mar 2005|05:30pm] |
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mood |
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thankful |
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music |
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dust in the wind - kansas |
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well...it was once said that there is a season for everything. And in saying that, my season at Publix has ended. i turned in my resignation letter today, and tuesday will be my last day. weird how in bible club we kinda talked (later on) about how everything works out, and how God just makes everything work. This week has been incredible, and God is just soo amazing. I know so many people that just exemplify incredible faith in God. it seems this week, God has been telling me to just depend on Him. Today, during my break and after work, i hung out at living word. the wallendas were there, and i bought tino's book. i also talked with my favorite wallenda, alex. it's pretty insane how they do those incredible things on the high wire. and i read a little of the book, and he was talkin about how his faith in God brought him through. I see him and say to myself "that's the type of faith i want, the type where i can do anything knowing God is right there beside me." i used to think a relationship, a close, friendship was sooo far away, but God has been there all along. He's never left me, even when i thought He did. i figured those who aren't really christian just skipped over this all, but that's ok...this is my lj, and i'm allowed to say this stuff.
I come to bear witness to things unseen.
I come to be a light in the darkness.
I come to let it be known there is a God who loves us, humankind.
My life is but a whisper, just a faint memory.
verse of the day: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
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[10 Mar 2005|06:33pm] |
Brie hugged me for the first time ever...
and my love, my darling...has bronchitis...talk about bittersweet
Feel better Kari, i love you soo much
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| well...opa! |
[08 Mar 2005|06:22pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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last resort - papa roach (this song never gets old) |
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yah soo..i'm bored. journalism project went well, so did english...schweig seemed impressed at my cd. ummm that's been about it for this week...since it's only tuesday. my baby is sick. Kari i love you, get better soon! anyways...so things worked out with my parents...i was gonna follow my heart either way. i've somehow always known this was the right way. anyways, i'm tired. my brother decided to become immature, and instigate a wrestling match with me, because he has nothin better to do. so now i'm tired. i like water, but not as much as kari. ummm tomorrow will mark one month with her...can you believe it? me? one month? isn't that nuts??? but yah. i've been doin a lot of "counselling" lately, it's pretty draining. but it's alright.
I LOVE KARI.
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| wtf? |
[07 Mar 2005|03:20pm] |
ok so...christianity...
i read my bible, i pray...i try to get know God. but instead of approval from my parents, i get lectured about how God should be my bestest friend ever...sorry, that's not gonna instantly happen no matter how much you want it to. like any friendship, you gotta work at it. so of course, i get lectured about it. i mean what else do you want? i'm tryin here.
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blindsider's journal